I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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