just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
