she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
