Pregnant stripper...not hot.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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