At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
