I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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