it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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