So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
