So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
