Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
