it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
