I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
