He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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