First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
