spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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