So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
