well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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