so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize