god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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