Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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