you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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