they need to just BURY HIM!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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