puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
