One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
