Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
