Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Found the puke drawer
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize