New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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