Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
