so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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