I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
