i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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