I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm going to jail i love you
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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