I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
