Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
