We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
