I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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