i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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