Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
