Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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