When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
