Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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