so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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