I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
A+ Viking dick
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
