ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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