You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize