i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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