i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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