Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I need to calm my uterus...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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