Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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