Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
