these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
