god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
