So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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