he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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