On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
They took my balls.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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