It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
