i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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