You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My balls are so social today.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
