Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
