Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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