Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
