my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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